Joe Camerota

Photo by Andres Ayrton: https://www.pexels.com/photo/crop-woman-eating-crispy-chips-6550812/

I wanna meet beautiful BBW ladies.

So I’m thinkin’ of joinin’ Overeaters Anonymous. That’s where all the hot “fat ladies” are. They’re called “Fat Ladies,” by the way. My dad used to call them “Heavy Set Women,” and that’s wrong.

I wanna be in Overeaters Anonymous, and when it comes…

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Photo by Jade Stephens on Unsplash

I live in New York City, on the Lower East Side. I work in Greenwich Village and perform comedy all over lower Manhattan.

And every day, I see these NYU ladies, these college ladies. Walkin’ around lower Manhattan, wearin’ their yoga pants.

And I love it. I love it. And it’s my favorite thing in the whole wide world!

No one loves the work of these ladies wearin’ yoga pants more than me. I love it!

I love it because I can see their pussies.

I don’t know why they’re wearin’ these yoga pants?

But again, I love when they do because I can see their pussies.

Also, I would like it noted that I am not trying to look at pussies. It’s just that I suffer from not being blind.

I have the curse of sight, everyone!

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Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

This lady I met recently told me that she thinks that God is a woman.

And I gotta tell ya, I 100% agree! I one hundred percent agree! 100%! One hundred percent!

Because I read the whole Bible, and in that book, God would not stop bitchin’!

On every page, God was all, “Don’t do this! Don’t do that! You should be doin’ this!”

I kept on readin’, thinkin’, “This God sounds like a lady.”

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Photo by cottonbro: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-shot-of-a-person-holding-a-gun-8717529/

Sometimes, on TikTok, I’ll see a person in the woods, probably an anti-gun person, in touch with nature.

And they’ll be recording a video, as they are backing away from a bear. All while yelling loudly, “Woah bear! Woah, bear!”

Hey, hey, hey, hot tip…

I’ll tell ya what works a billion times better against a bear than yelling, “Woah Bear!”…

is a gun.

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Joe Camerota

Joe Camerota

Joe Camerota is a comedian, a satirist, a philosopher, and a spectator of life. His God is Blasphemy. JoeCamerota@gmail.com https://linktr.ee/JoeCamerota